1) The story I'm telling
you isn't very new,
Just about a man, who messed with a Jew,
You all know what happened, it's history,
You mess with a Jew, you swing from a tree.
2) Once there was a king called "Achasveirosh"
Of many "Medinos", he was the "Rosh",
One day the king had himself a thought,
that a big party to make, he ought.
3) Everone's invited, everything's " ba-tzalt*"
Even the minors, accompanied by an adult.
Stuff 'em up like goose, till their hearts content,
make everyone happy, was the king's intent.
4) Announce to everyone, party starts at 8,
And ends a week later, very very late
Along comes a 'yidel', pour a shnapps so fine,
Down the hatch it goes, and says 'make the second wine.'
5) "Kaylim mi-kaylim shoi-nim*," nothing was spared,
Your hearts desire was quickly prepared,
"'Ahd d-loh yoda'*," king's dead drunk and mean,
*see Purim Story
Gets a bee in his bonnet, wants to see the queen.
6) "'Leh-hahr-ohs ess yohf-yah'"*, thats the way they put
" 'B'kesser mahl-chus'"*, nothing else with it.
Suddenly a prude, she won't even telephone,
Cuts off her head, and now the king is all alone.
7) The order was out, that the man rules over the dame,
and in every house in the kingdom, it better be the same,
He's looking for a wife should be a "'Noi-ses chayn,"*
he didn't use a "shadchen", he just took 'em to his "heim"
8) A Miss Persia Contest for his own pleasure,
Esther beat them all by a very far measure,
Every contestant he did screen,
but of them all, she became the Queen.
9) You can read all about it in the King's books,
the gallows were the last place you could see the cooks,
Mordechai heard their plot to poison the King,
for the good of the Jews, he decided to sing.
10) Haman "iz geh-veh-zen ah gantz feiner mentsch"
"hawt kayn-mall nit geh-dah-vent, uhn kayn-mall nit geh-bentsht"
the King made him a bigshot and he was tickled pink,
you had to bow to him, else you'd end up in the klink.
11) He even expected it from Mordechai the sage,
and when he didn't bow, he flew into a rage,
he went to the king and he offered him gold,
10,000 for the Jews, and the king said "sold."
12) Esther heard the plot, Haman was trying to swing,
and told Mordechai, "(I) can't do a darn thing."
because to see the king, there's one condition,
the hardest thing to get, you need his permission.
13) Cause anyone who walks into his room,
without being called in, just sealed his doom,
so how do you expect me to save the Jews,
Oh Mordechai, me you've got to excuse.
14) Mordechai told her " don't be such a "Knah-ker,"
'cause, "Reh-vach v'hatzolo yah-ah-mode mi-mokom ah-cher"*
no excuses, don't be such a prude,
diplomatic immunity will do you no good.
15) Esther replied, "OK, I will try,
It's my only chance, "do or die,"
I'll go to the king with my charm of the past,
just get the Jews together, pray for me and fast.
16) She went to the King, everything came out right,
he stuck out his scepter, Esther to invite,
She went right in, and he said "say,
tell me what you want and you'll get it today.
17) She answered, " all I want is you to come,
to my party today with that man Haman.
All she said at the party was "come again'"
to my party tomorrow and I'll tell you then.
18) Haman started home full of glee,
when he saw Mordechai, it turned to misery.
He went home and asked his wife what to do,
she said,"build a gallows and tomorrow he'll be thru.
19) That night the King just couldn't sleep,
he read his diary, he felt like a creep,
he realized that he didn't repay,
Mordechai for saving the day.
20) Haman was just coming in to tell the King,
that to hang Mordechai is just the right thing.
The King asked him, 'Pray me tell,
What do you do to a man the King likes well?
21) Haman thought, who else is there but me,
that the King would like to honor with all finery,
He told him everything that he should do,
the King said, 'Do so to Mordechai the Jew.'
22) He didn't have very much of a "bray-rah"*
but to listen to the King's "geh-zay-rah"*
he only hoped he wouldn't meet,
any friends, walkin' on the street.
23) Haman's daughter saw them from the kitchen,
garbage at him, she started pitchin',
she threw so far, you wouldn't think she'd reach him,
she threw so much, he was "bah-tail b'shi-shim"
24) When she realized that Mordechai was the one,
sitting on the horse, instead of Haman,
she went out the window, and how,
Haman's troubles were piling up now.
25) They came for the party, Haman to call
He went thinking it'll be a ball.
He didn't realize this was the end,
to the gallows, him they're gonna send.
26) The King asked Esther, 'What do you need?'
She answered, 'For my own people I plead,
He wants to get rid of everyone,
"Who is that?" and she said, "Haman."
27) The King walked out and Haman was turning red,
He came back in, found Haman on the bed.
The King said, 'Can't I leave you alone,
with Esther in one room without a chaperone?
28) Just then 'Charvona" started to say,
'there's a tree in Haman's yard, I saw it today.
He put it there to hang Mordechai,
The King said, 'hang Haman up to die.
29) The rest of the Megillah you just can't compare
with what we learned today, up until here,
live and learn, that's what you're doing today,
So listen to me folks to what I've got to say.
30) This is a warning to all you Haman's on the loose,
Don't mess with no Jew, don't put your head into a noose.
The moral of this story, you're blind if you can't tell,
you mess with a Jew, and you'll go to ......