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Tazria Midrash Bottom
The Parsha starts off with a tribute to childbirth. But way before a baby is ready to be born, Hashem has a whole system set up in Shamayim (heaven).

It all begins with a call to Layla's office. Layla is the Malach (angel) in charge of the neshoma (soul) factory. From his office high above Gan Eden, this Malach can see all the precious neshamot basking in the warmth of Hashem's greatness.

Suddenly the phone rings. It's the boss, - Hashem. "We've got a baby girl due to arrive in Brooklyn in about nine months. Send me a neshoma model 32471 and make it snappy!" Well, as you can imagine, there's no neshoma too eager to leave the comfort of the garden for the perils of life. It's a struggle, but Layla finally tears the little one away from its favorite basking spot.

Kicking and screaming, neshoma model 32471 appears before Hashem. "There I was, a pure untainted link to your Holiness," the neshoma argues. "Why blow all that purity on a human life?" Well, someone's gonna have to have a talk with the olam hazeh PR department. Hashem explains to the neshoma that it's got life all wrong.

With the aid of charts, graphs and slides, Hashem explains to 32471 that life is what you make of it. "If you think Gan Eden is bright, just see what a couple of mitzvot under your belt will do for your tan - you'll be wearing sun glasses it'll be so sunny! You see, a neshoma alone is nothing compared to a body & soul team. Together, they can rack up enough mitzvot to buy a mansion on the exclusive end of Gan Eden."

Well, that convinces the neshoma to make a merger with an unborn baby. Now it's time to do a little pre-programming. Hashem decides the unborn child's fate; boy or girl, healthy or sickly, genius, dope or in-between, rich or poor and even who it will marry.

Practically a person's whole life is pre-programmed. But there is one important detail that Hashem leaves you to figure out for yourself. Only you can decide whether you will become a tzadik or a rasha. It is the job of every person to become as great a tzadik as possible. Of course, some people fail miserably. On the other hand, some people endure many struggles to be G-d fearing. They are willing to even sacrifice their lives for Hashem.

Before model 32471 is born, a Malach will teach it the entire Torah (Rashi too!). The Malach shows the baby travel brochures of both Gan Eden and Gehinom. The Malach's parting words urge 32471 to become a tzadik, not a rasha. With that, the Malach slaps the baby on the lips. Instantly, 32471 forgets all the Torah (Rashi too!) that it has been taught.

Chazal teach us that the birth of a child is a greater Nes (miracle) than the parting of the Yam Suf (Red Sea). But the greatest miracle of all is that in a world that is filled with miracles, Hashem took the time to program each and every one of us with our own special purpose and plan.


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